Long time no blog!
It’s a busy month for me — lots of projects, in the day-job, writing and other realms — but I wanted to check in and share a bit from the novella I’m currently working on. It’s called “Small Miracles,” and while it isn’t the likeliest story in the world, it’s sure a romantic one.
Imagine you have nothing, not even a roof over your head. But you have your pride, and you’re no longer living by someone else’s rules. Are you free, or are you enslaved? Are the hardships you face bad enough that they’re worth throwing away your identity for the chance of a lifetime?
Now imagine you have everything, but you’re alone. You see the love of your life across a crowded room, and you’d do everything in your considerable power to get him. But how do you keep him, when the comforts you can offer him are, to him, too good to be true? And what happens when you finally find the one thing you can’t buy with money?
Here’s an excerpt from “Small Miracles.”
A long time ago, a moment like this one. All the anticipation and built-up want of a childhood knowing he was something else. Something other than what he’d been told to be. And the fear and joy that came from embracing it.
He was that close to it all again. And if it ended the way it did back then…
His eyes flew open. He shivered hard, grabbed Matt by the arms and looked up at him. “Don’t go anywhere,” he whispered. His face must have been contorted in agony. He could feel the tension along his cheekbones, in the knot between his eyebrows.
Matt blinked at him for a moment. He was so close, the head of his cock bumping Cal’s ass, lighting up a thousand multicolored pathways through his nerves and making a low bell chime in the back of his skull.
“I won’t go anywhere,” he said. “I promise.” He didn’t understand why he was saying it, but that didn’t matter. He knew he had to. He knew Cal needed him to. In that moment Cal felt more connected to the world than he’d felt in his entire life.
Matt entering him wasn’t just a physical thing. Nothing was, when your soul had been parched to the extent that Cal’s was. The solid, hot push of Matt’s cock was a triumph, because it wasn’t a stranger, it wasn’t a trick to be turned. Cal had been true to himself. He hadn’t given in and embraced empty sex or put himself up for sale. He’d waited until the moment he felt the magic again even though he couldn’t afford to, although he’d expected himself to break down long ago. He wanted this, he wanted Matt, not because he was a warm body or had promised him money but because he had looked at Cal through beautiful, reverent eyes and made Cal feel like a whole person again. Cal was thoroughly ready for him.
He breathed deeply, endured the burn. It had been so long, but still it wasn’t as painful as the first time. Maybe it was just in the learning how. A few seconds of existing, getting used to the immense weight and heat inside him, and he was able to meet Matt’s gaze and smile.
“Good?” Matt said. Cal nodded his head and swallowed hard.
Matt leaned down and kissed his neck, setting up a sweet shiver that traveled along Cal’s spine and met the heat in his core. Point, counterpoint, hot and cold, and Cal was crying out for balance, clutching Matt close and hooking his feet up around Matt’s waist to pull him in tighter, urge him along faster. The same word kept ringing in his ears as they moved together, and he traced it with his fingertips along Matt’s body, buried it in a moan with each thrust of Matt’s hips into his own. Home. Home. This felt like coming home.
He didn’t believe in home. Home was a betrayal waiting to happen.